A couple of years ago I found myself at a high school football game.  It was night.  The field was covered with small men in big pads.  The stands were full of teenage revelers.  The sides were lined with adults and clipboards, adults and ice packs, adults and camp chairs and raffle tickets.  There was pomp and there was circumstance, and all we were there to watch was a bunch of boys grunting and bumping heads.  It was like watching slugs bash into each other.*

I’m not against football.  In fact, I’m very for.  But I wondered how—really, just how—society would be different if, instead of applauding/cheering for/training boys to slam each other down, we gathered in stands to watch fields of men treat people well.  I imagined the sports commentary.

“Number 18 breaks left, makes a run for it, and—he stops to help that PTA mom pick up the armful of flyers she just dropped!  What a save!  Over in Tiger territory, running back Luke ‘Breaker’ Larkin is having what looks to be a very awkward conversation with a girl who loves him unrequitedly.  Is he going to slam her?  No!  He lets her talk it out!  And then he turns to his buddy and says something nice about her!!  You should be here, folks.  The crowd is just going wild!”

To that end, here on the virtual football field that is the Apron Stage, I am now presenting Sarah’s Seven Best Man Plays of the Month.  This is a list of the nicest things men (no family relation) have done for me in the past month.  Ish.

Feel free to cheer, foam finger, go wild.  And then add your own.




1.  On a hard day when I was having to do hard things, C. bought me an orchid plant and left it at my house with only this note: “For her who does hard things.”  I keep the note by my bed.

2.  D. baked and served me cookies at midnight, just because I wanted some.

3.  S. drove me to New York, hung out at my sister’s fourteenth birthday party, and told me I was “worth every dollar” when he overheard me mentioning my anti-dowry (aka my student loans).

4.  I told A. & J. I’d bring dessert to their house for our dinner, but I ran out of time and emailed M. and said, “If I tell you what to pick up, could you buy the dessert?”  And when I next heard from him he said, “I already did it,” and he’d chosen a lovely Bavarian Cream cake.  Without my having to do any thinking at all.

5.  When I called R. to ask him spur-of-the-moment to do a favor that required patience, inconvenience, some heavy lifting, and no payoff, he said, essentially, “I’d be delighted.”

6.  B. offered to drive me to a party I wanted to go to but not if it meant I had to move, even though he wasn’t going to know anyone at the party and even though it was 25 minutes in the opposite direction of all the other places he needed to be.

7.  P. called me a couple hours after we’d finished talking and after he was supposed to have gone to bed—to tell me he loved me.  “Maybe I just wanted to tell someone,” he said.  “I chose you.”



* Allusion?  Anyone?