Did you know that 26 percent of callers hang up before they ever get to a human? I did it three times today. Which was stupid of me, because then I had to call over and start from the beginning. This was my morning:

“Hi, Welcome to Delta. Are you a Skymiles member?”


“Okay, I think you said, ‘reservation,’ is that right?”


“Okay, let’s try this again. Are you a Skymiles member?”


“I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand you. Are you a Skymiles member?”


I didn’t have the stamina for the entire call when even the yes/no questions weren’t registering. Did you know that five states are actually considering legislation that regulates automated answering machines. I even read a pitch to Obama—create jobs by putting humans on the other end. Change we can believe in.

I haven’t actually recovered yet and couldn’t come up with anything to write about. So I leave you, dear readers, with two helpful hints I uncovered today.

1.) A website, that actually lists a bunch of companies and tells you how to bypass their systems. Apparently, all I had to do when calling Delta Airlines was “press ‘0’ at each prompt, ignoring messages.” And

2.) Yell. When I finally lost it and actually screamed into the mouthpiece, boo-yeah, it transferred me to a representative.

That’s all I got.