kwallace1GUEST BLOGGER: KATHRYN WALLACE

Kathryn is a nomad currently living in Washington, DC.  When she is not eating apples, she is producing documentaries for National Geographic.

Dear Eve —

I’ve been thinking about you, there in the garden experiencing the same — though perfect — day over and over. I wonder if the apple was a premeditated scheme to achieve the impossible…?

Were you happy to blame the serpent for the fantastic plan you cooked up to get out of the routine? Did you sense your biological destiny? You had insight to see and courage to do what Adam could not: strike out for a life outside the garden: a life that just might be better than childlike and childless. A life that would be hard until it ended, trading immortality and static perfection for fleeting moments of happiness, a chance at progress and posterity. Maybe you didn’t know completely what you were getting yourself into. Surely, it was a hard sell for you both. And yet you burned the bridge behind you.

When you took a bite of that apple, were you afraid? Did it occur to you that Adam might let you go and that you would find yourself as wise as the gods, but now all alone and cast out? Did you rehearse a few ways to present the original ultimatum to Adam? Whatever you said, it worked. We single girls could take a lesson on convincing a man that comfort and ease don’t trump the terrifying unknowns outside the perimeter if you’ve got a good companion. Certainly being the only woman was in your favor.

We’re a grateful world that Adam took the bait. But your curse is with us today – although it’s not the curse for which the world gives you grief. See, despite the eons of time between your shot at mortality and mine, the nature of man (and woman) has not changed much. We women are still usually the first to get the itchin’ to leave the garden. Most women that have walked the earth after you, flesh of your flesh, are cursed to replay your definitive scene in the garden: the “take-me-and-a-life-outside-of-what-you-know-that-will-be-both-better-and-worse” moment in the relationship. Some women are more artful in their presentation of the apple but just like you, they gotta get their man to bite. Now that apple has been replaced with other scary symbols: a ball and chain, a baby rattle, a diamond ring, a pre-nup. Millions of pages have been written on how a woman can convince her Adam to commit to a new life; I wonder, Eve, if your story, the genesis of relationship stories, set the template?

Any tips for a girl without access to forbidden fruit and fielding a world of competition for our Adam’s attention? Help a sister out.

k

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