I don’t mind house chores and laundry and such. I’m all for instant gratification and have gotten used to fleeting pleasures. I think three or four times a week we say to each other, “How does it get dirty so fast?” We say it’s because it’s so small. “When we move to the suburbs,” we nod, “then our house will be clean.”

A lot of things will be different for us when we move to the suburbs. That’s also when I’m going to start getting ready every day. Exercising. Actually eating meals instead of snacking throughout the day. When we move to the suburbs I’ll be like an article straight out of Real Simple.  Come, my child, I’ll say, let’s put on cotton and play in a down comforter.

I’ve noticed that when I lived on the Upper West Side, the machines in the building’s laundry room always had their lint screens cleaned. Not so here. I think I wipe off other people’s lint at least two times a week. Then again, people also cleaned up after their dogs on the Upper West Side.  We’ve started leaving our stroller in the hallway outside of the apartment. It’s a hard smell to beat.

I keep on running into the nanny from 3A when I’m doing laundry. We must be on the same cycle. Her employer—my neighbor—made a big to-do about how she doesn’t make her nanny do any chores because she wants her to focus on the little boy. I wonder why she went out of her way to tell me that. I didn’t think she was a bad mom until I found out she lies.

I try to be timely about changing my laundry. Especially since I’m Mormon. Of course, the neighbors will watch Big Love this weekend and then, what’s my rush?

Last week I was doing laundry at the same time as the woman in 7G. Conversations in communal laundry rooms are always awkward. Especially now that I know that 7G is one of the ones who doesn’t clean her own lint screen. And she leaves her quarter wrappers on top of the machines. You would think she would cover her trail since she knew I’d be coming down in 34 minutes to use the dryer she vacated.

There was the time 5B and I were in the basement at the same time. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this, “ she sobbed. We spent an entire spin cycle talking about her cheating boyfriend. “Let him go,” I said. Sometimes, I think it’s easier to talk to people we don’t know. From now on, I’m not going to get my hair cut by friends. I’m going to pay the extra money so I can have the ear of a stranger for thirty minutes.

When we move to the suburbs I won’t have to share a laundry room with forty other people. I’ll miss their incidentals.

Time’s up.